i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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