yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
