yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
