we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize