K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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