if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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