you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
