Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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