plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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