The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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