Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
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