I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize
