But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
He uses pillows to masturbate.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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