Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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