dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
My pussy is not your playground.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
