Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
