Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Your cock deserves a montage
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
