the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
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