Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Randomize
