Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.