Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?