So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.