I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
