Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
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