i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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