i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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