So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Randomize
