I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
