you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
