Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
