normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize