The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
