Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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