I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Randomize
