i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
