My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
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