dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
