Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
