i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
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