The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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