no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
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