dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
