Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Randomize
