but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
i now understand why vodka
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
