I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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