Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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