I'm really into asian looking animals
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
