Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
