you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
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