He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
