Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
So here I am, sexting at work.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
