shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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