So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
