I got chris browned last night
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Randomize
