she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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