you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
tell me about the eggs
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
