I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
