Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
