Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
