We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Randomize
