Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Can I color on your dick again?
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Randomize
