I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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