Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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