i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
you will always have a special place in my vag
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
