I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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