I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
he wants to bone in the snuggie
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Randomize
