it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
