Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Quick, to the slutcave!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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